After you read the 3 sample essays, please leave a COMMENT on this post responding to the following questions. Comments are due by class time on Wednesday, August 31.
- What did you notice about each of the student examples?
- How did each writer structure their story?
- What choices did each writer make that you found compelling, interesting, attention-grabbing, emotionally-moving, or otherwise positive?
- What unusual or creative choices did they make?
- Which parts of the story gave you some kind of emotional reaction?
- What choices did the writer make in how they crafted their story that CAUSED that reaction in you?
I noticed that the three student examples were about personal experiences.
Each writer structure their writing by Lesbian: first introducing the problem I can say, then developing it and then, explaining how they solved it. This can be such as exposition, rising action, climax, falling action and resolution.
Sample doc: was more like a chronological writing in which the student developed his ideas which he thought he didn’t have into writing an essay.
Q: was more like an story about a personal experience.
In the first writing which was “Lesbian” I read I found really interesting how the girl was kind of afraid to come out and say she was lesbian, and it happens a lot in this world because us as human beings are too focused in what people may say, and think about us, instead of putting how we feel first and just be who we really are.
The “Sample Doc” I loved it because even though the student did not have a “great” idea to speak about in the essay, somehow they explaining how they had struggle and left everything for last minute was so cool and relatable, because I’m pretty sure every student has got to that point where they’re confident that if they leave something they could do now for later they would do it and end up having a hard time, or just having nothing come up to your mind to write about because I’ve been in that place.
And “Q” I found compelling how at the end it started saying the whole truth about New York and it’s just like wow, we complain about New York so much, me personally I complain almost everyday and somehow New York is awesome in some different types of ways you can’t even imagine besides all the negative stuff that happens here.
The unusual choice I would say she made in the “Lesbian” writing was how afraid she felt about being her true self without having to make a joke out of it.
In the “Sample Doc” I would say that was a really creative choice he made about writing his experience of not knowing what to write. And also the fact that not even being sure about if what he was writing was even allowed was amazing because to be honest I really liked that writing.
In “Q” I would say it was an unusual choice just not having a car but then also having trouble on the train, I’m still a little confuse with that.
In the “Lesbian” writing the part that gave me some kind of emotional reaction was when she explained how she finally didn’t felt the need of being ashamed when the other girl asked her if she was a lesbian, it made me really proud and happy she was finally confident of telling people who she was.
In “Sample Doc” I felt relatable because it’s like I felt that finally I relate to someone’s writing which it rarely happens because in the writing it seems how frustrated the student was writing that essay and I’ve been in that place before so it kind of made me think if how I am when I don’t know how to write about, it basically have me a little flashback.
In “Q” It made me realized that even though I complain about New York I love this place because somehow it has contribute a lot into who I’ve become.
The writer in “Lesbian” explained their feelings of how she was not feeling ashamed anymore and that she actually felt happy about telling the other girl she is a lesbian.
The writer in the “Sample Doc” used a way of convincing the reader their essay was about not knowing what to write about but somehow making it a personal experience in which I’m pretty sure most students relate to. The writer in “Q” described New York in such a truthful way in which makes the reader think about the reality here.
Something that I really thought was interesting about the three stories I read was that everybody had their own personal conflicts and ended up figuring out an overall solution to it. The essay “Lesbian” talks about how the author felt at a young age about that word and tries to avoid it in general throughout her younger years. Eventually with time however, she found herself using the word “Lesbian” with confidence and being super bold about it. The essay “This I no longer believe” in the beginning talks about the struggle to find a good topic to write about for the prompt. And oddly enough made an outstanding essay about not being able to find one and furthermore talks about procrastination. Lastly, in the essay “Q”, the author talks about New York and that story does relate to me because I’m always finding myself ungrateful that I live here due to all of the crazy things that happens. But this story made me take a step back and realize that even though I was born in Virginia, New York is where I grew up in. New York has molded me into becoming the person that I am now.
As I was reading through all 3 essays, I did notice a bunch of material that was covered on each one. All 3 were written in first person which also included personal experiences of those writers.
Each writer structured their story keeping it in paragraph form and writing however they personally desired. I noticed as well that their essay did not have to be perfect and they just wrote what came to mind and what stayed true to that. The writer for the essay “Q” made me have a connection to her story due to the fact that she/he was talking about taking the MTA train for the first time after moving from another state. The way the writer describes the conditions of the society around when the writers “We’re all a little miserable. We’re all a little too broke to be positive at 7 in the morning while a strange man spends the 40 minute commute staring directly into the cleavage you’ve purposefully tried to camouflage. The New York City was a muse, a neon-lit Petri dish where you flail because of everything it is, and, regardless, of everything it is, you find reasons and tactics to stay.”As I was reading this, I felt the same exact way the first time I had to take public transportation in the city on my own. As far as the writing, the choice that was made such as keeping it in paragraph form and going all out with the way they wanted to explain their story without having to be a formal writer was unusual but creative at the same time because this story was to be exposed for their own creative writing freedom. I sort of had an emotional reaction to when the writer started describing their surroundings and to what she was seeing. The writer was having a man to man conflict because the writer stated “I tried to suck up my disgust with reality and turn my focus to the sliver of window I could see between bodies. I could see the sparkle of the East River. This was my favorite part. The crawl over the Manhattan Bridge, the scatter of light that happens whenever glass and water are built close to one another. This is why you’re here, something inside me said.” I had a reaction to this segment because not only was I personally there a few days ago, but I can once again relate to everything the writer was describing.
I think all three of these stories are unique. All of these stories are personal experience which is why it is unique to each of them. Firstly, I read the “Q”experience and how the person talks about their first experience moving to here and her past experiences. I think this one was the most interesting as we are New Yorkers and have experienced things like this before. This shapes us to be who we are and experiences cause us to form certain ideas. Secondly, I read the “Lesbian” experience and how it also shaped her. Since she and her friend were 5-6 years old, the word came up to her which she was confused. She didn’t understand why her friend made it seem like her parents were lesbian and she was just confused about the whole situation. Then the experiences with those girls asking her if she was lesbian and she fake saying yes to Gabe to fit in. This is what shaped her and she would be worried about how others felt or if they would judge her. She kept to herself till she was finally able to open up at the end. This felt like an empowering moment to me and the reader as we feel that the author finally built up courage. She always wanted to be able to accept the word and eventually made a promise to her and she said the worst and accepts who she is. Lastly, I read the “Sample” which I felt that I related to the most. I feel that procrastination is a problem for everyone and we always have the mindset that we can just do it later. Even if it is something light that can be down in 10-15 minutes, we just think that leaving it for later is best. Therefore, the author wants to pick up his slack and be able to finish something like a day before it is due and have better habits. All three of these essays are interesting and relatable.
I noticed that all three of the student examples were related to their life experiences. Two of the authors wrote about their current situations and one of the authors wrote about their past situations. Each and every one of the articles went in-depth about how the situation affected them and how it made them feel. Each writer structures their story differently. The author of the story “Q,” structured his story by first creating a moment of suspense for the reader so you would be hooked and continue reading, then he started talking about himself and his past life. He finishes up his story by talking about his current life and the struggles that he goes through but gets used to every day. The author of the story “Lesbian,” first starts talking about her past life, when she was a little kid. Then she introduces her problem and the challenges she had to face. Lastly, she explains how she was able to overcome this fear. The author of “This I no longer believe,” first starts by introducing the topic. He then proceeds to talk about his struggles. He finishes off by talking about how he would never make the same mistake again, and how he learned from his mistakes. I really liked how the author of “Q,” have the readers on their feet by just reading the beginning of the story. I liked how bizarre but so creative the author of the story “This I no longer believe,” wrote about how much he struggled to write that story. When I was reading the end of the story “Lesbian,” I felt a sense of relief and happiness, when I realized that the author overcame her fear and let out the real her.
The examples were very realistic and represent all of our lives and our experiences in this life of problems and pressures. Each example was stronger than the other, and each person faced their personal problem and solved it in their own way. Each writer built their story around a problem they will talk about and how they will solve it and give and show personal experiences that happened with them that changed their lives upside down. Each person had a positive change in their life after every obstacle they faced, and in the end, they found that every problem had a solution.
In every example and article that I read inspired me to move forward, and not to stand on any obstacle that I will face in my next life and even in my college life, in the first article: I was concerned that the writer continued to fear about their personal problem of obtaining a license and I was meditating and reading quickly to see the writer solution that would present to themselves! It is not an easy or simple thing to solve in one night, so the writer was frank about their own feelings and about other life in their new world, and there was a good thing, which is that every writer knew in their heart that this situation is something wrong and must be resolved as soon as possible, but fear and suspicion fill us all.
And certainly, in the other articles there was encouragement for us and encouragement for everyone who might read this article, to be what we want and that our lives belong to us and not to others! And to persevere permanently and not to stop even if we do not find the idea in our mind, and that words never run out, and sentences and letters express us in a greater and deeper way than we imagine.
Frankly, every story has a situation and every story has special feelings towards a particular thing, and all of them were positively impacting us and them, and that we search for the solution through ourselves and our self-esteem, but the question that I always ask myself and I do not find a convincing answer, inside us we know that what we are doing is wrong, but we continue to do it , why? Are these learned habits or have we been like this for centuries!
In each example, the writer gave a problem, a situation and a solution, and this is what we always want to read, and their choices were certainly useful to them, and this will help me write my story in this class…..
The examples were very realistic and represent all of our lives and our experiences in this life of problems and pressures. Each example was stronger than the other, and each person faced their personal problem and solved it in their own way. Each writer built their story around a problem they will talk about and how they will solve it and give and show personal experiences that happened with them that changed their lives upside down. Each person had a positive change in their life after every obstacle they faced, and in the end, they found that every problem had a solution.
In every example and article that I read inspired me to move forward, and not to stand on any obstacle that I will face in my next life and even in my university life, in the first article: I was concerned that the writer continued to fear about the writer personal problem of obtaining a license and I was meditating and reading quickly to see the writer solution that would present to themselves ! It is not an easy or simple thing to solve in one night, so the writer was frank about their own feelings and about other life in their new world, and there was a good thing, which is that every writer knew in their heart that this situation is something wrong and must be resolved as soon as possible, but fear and suspicion fill us all.
And certainly, in the other articles there was encouragement for us and encouragement for everyone who might read this article, to be what we want and that our lives belong to us and not to others! And to persevere permanently and not to stop even if we do not find the idea in our mind, and that words never run out, and sentences and letters express us in a greater and deeper way than we imagine.
Frankly, every story has a situation and every story has special feelings towards a particular thing, and all of them were positively impacting us and them, and that we search for the solution through ourselves and our self-esteem, but the question that I always ask myself and I do not find a convincing answer, inside us we know that what we are doing is wrong, but we continue to do it , why? Are these learned habits or have we been like this for centuries!
In each example, the writer gave a problem, a situation and a solution, and this is what we always want to read, and their choices were certainly useful to them, and this will help me write my story in this class.
I think all three essays where special in their own way. all three essays had different personal anecdotes as well as perspectives. Also, each writer created there essays with thought and emotion, it seemed as if they where actually talking to me while I read it. and personally I really like when essays are laid out in such a way because it really makes me feel like I’m connecting with the author.
Q: A creative choice this author made was bringing her sexuality into the essay, which can be a very sensitive topic for many. I really liked how she showed the transition between her not even wanted to come out the closet to then being open about being lesbian and proud too. I think her essay can have an impact on not only people who are struggling to come out of the closet but anyone really. people who are maybe questioning thire sexuality, and people who are just discovering who they really are.
The Sample Doc: I liked how this author wrote about something almost every student can relate too, because I know I do. even though im not proud of it im probably the biggest procrastinator there is. and there has been times where I see I have an assignment, like this one for an example and ill tell myself ” yeah ill save that for tomorrow because I know ill finish it quickly”, and now im up late with my eyes barely open typing this Response. I also liked how the author told us about a time they procrastinated and came up with a solution.
Q: This author already caught my attention when they started talking about NYC and the lifestyle here. because not only did I understand, but I could also relate. everyday I take the train whether its to work or school, most of the time im taking the train and I have to be honest, I hate it. but then I sometimes think to myself, “I don’t think id be able to survive anywhere else. I feel like NYC is so diverse and everything here is so convenient , why wouldn’t I want to live here” despite NYC being dangerous there are many highlights to it.
Lastly, I think all three essays had a “happy ending”. they all seemed to gain closure from all of their different situations.
Firstly, the theme I noticed as I read all three stories was the personal conflicts experienced by each of the writers.
In the text “Q”, the writer structured their story by giving descriptions for the readers to visualize their situation. As I read the story, I found the very accurate descriptions of living in New York City interesting and compelling. I was also able to relate to the writer being premature and learning a lot about “Premies” because I was born premature. The quote, “We’re all a little miserable. We’re all a little too broke to be positive at 7 in the morning”, made me laugh because it is the same thought I have in my mind in the mornings on my way to city college. The author chose to be brutally honest about her new home, New York City, making this story very relatable to people that live in the same situation.
In the text “Lesbian”, the writer was able to portray her story, learning about the world lesbian and depicting her thoughts at the different points in her life. Something I found interesting was where the writer quotes the question asked by two older girls during recess, “Are you guys..lesbians?” And the thoughts she had after hearing that questions and seeing the teachers reaction to what the older girls said. Throughout the text the writer continues to add more information about her disposition with the word “Lesbian” at the end of memorable events. The final paragraph made me feel happy and proud in a way due to the writer being able to state that she is lesbian, instead of avoiding the question like she would in the past. The writer chose to reflect on the answers her past self would have given, realizing that she should just be herself along with her inspiration from Baldwin.
In the text “This I No Longer Believe” the writer initially described an issue I believe we all face when it comes onto writing. “Writers Block”. Talking about writers block as the introduction was relatable to me because it is something I experience every time I go to write something for a prompt. The writer structured this story chronologically, detailing the position they were in at every step of writing his essay. A creative choice the writer made was talking about their issues with the prompt and making their entire essay about said issues which was also attention grabbing, making this story my favorite one. The writers final paragraph made me laugh, with how the author was even saying that they think writing about their difficulty was probably not the best idea. This is and will be very relatable because I will also have to start writing my own “”This I No Longer Believe” essay and I already know that I will be drawing multiple blanks on what to write about.
1. This I No Longer Believe
The example of I No Longer Believe, heavily relies on the relatable habit of procrastination. And thus the relatability of the experience is a strong hook so that we as readers are interested in how he worked his way out of a trouble we all face. The writer of, This I no Longer Believe, ordered his experience chronologically from the moment the paper was assigned, to what he did each day leading up to the moment of consequence, the writing of the paper. After narrating the timeline, he reflects on his internal thoughts as those days passed by, as he learned a valuable lesson to change almost all of those actions. The part I felt most attention grabbing was when the writer spoke about how he could not find a belief that had changed over time. This really stuck with me because I went through the same struggle so many times, I don’t form that much of an opinion on many things period, so finding one of those opinions to change the years is beyond a struggle to me. Although I found it most excellent when he suggested that maybe his mother had just instilled great values onto him, which was very funny. The unusual or creative choice they made was writing about the paper that had been assigned for the anecdote. This is unusual because it is really self aware where the paper is constantly reminded that itself is the reason for its contents. I closely relate to his procrastination and choice of topic. It’s 10:23pm and all I want to do right now is sleep but it is the consequence of me checking commons at 8 that I am suffering. The choice of the writer that made a reaction for me was the amount of self reflection, constantly asking himself as if he was not sure it was a great idea, and after doing it he constantly reflected with himself trying to find the best possible reason for his initial thought process when putting the paper off.
2. Q
The thing I noticed about the example of Q, is looking at New York from a foreign perspective and how it differs from places. The writer of Q began with a suspenseful anecdote, to then compare that life and death situation to the streets of their hometown. Although they are greatly different, and New York is not as great, they find a reason to stay. When the writer describes the lady that kept checking her phone on the train. As a New Yorker this is something I do constantly so I never make eye contact with anyone on the subway. It was the most hilarious thing in the essay because this observation is extremely relatable between every New York who is accustomed to public transportation in the City. I like how the writer points to the idea that they signed up for and wanted every part of New York, even the parts that don’t shine too bright. If you wanted to walk under the empire state building then you would have to live with shit under your shoe. This is really unusual because it is the ugly truth about this city, which makes it both beautiful and sometimes gross. The part of the story that gave me the greatest emotional reaction is when she connects her past experience to the presence of New York. She constantly brings up events in her life and connects them together for an even greater emotional effect. Comparing the reasons for honking between her original home and the streets of New York creates a comical contrast of the patience people have in each place. The comparison between looking for the subway lights and comparing it to the “light at the end of the tunnel” at birth creates the idea of failing expectations. Her choice to constantly use analogies of past events in her life to compare to the life of New York was a great impact on my reaction to her story.
3. Lesbian
What I noticed in the example of Lesbian, is her love that she felt from a young age. The story is structured chronologically throughout a lifetime with constant reminder to the word lesbian, and how each stage of her life that she discusses, would react to the word, lesbian. I found the constant repetition of the word Lesbian attention grabbing, as we see how her view of the word is constantly clouded with fear at first until the last 2 paragraphs. The creative choice they made was the focus on the word lesbian. At first she had been introduced to the word with the warmth of her friend’s 2 mothers and the love she felt for that friend, as it became a word of disgust and abnormality. Feeling like the word was a “cold ice cube, a bad word”. To her final acceptance, admitting it to her friend. When the writer introduces the influential figure James Baldwin it made me feel connected to the writer. The choice that the writer made that caused the reaction was introducing him as the catalyst for her acceptance of her sexuality. Personally I have such a reaction because I am trying to become a better thinker and I hope other books or people can influence me to become better.
The three sample essays share a commonality; they are all about college students’ personal experiences. In the sample essay titled, “Midterm Reflection Assignment” (M), the writer shares her struggles with sexual identity and self-acceptance as a lesbian woman. “Q” offers an insight into life in New York City from the perspective of a midwesterner, noting differences between the two regions and the adjustments required of outsiders coming into New York. Finally, in “This I No Longer Believe”,(T) a student writes on procrastination and his steady realization that his assignment is more difficult to finish than he had originally anticipated.
M follows the student’s repression of her sexuality chronologically, starting from grade school and ending in her senior year of high school. The essay is an amalgamation of multiple experiences she had that she felt related to her journey in self-acceptance. “Q” starts with a hook and then goes into what living in New York City is like. She writes on the commute, the stark contrast between the polished skyscrapers and the filthy subway, and the differences between the Big Apple and her hometown. In T, the writer gives an unexpected response to his essay prompt by writing about his change in opinion on the assignment itself. He writes about how he procrastinated writing his essay until the night before until he decided to write on how dissatisfied he became with the essay prompt instead of a meaningful personal experience.
A choice in T that I found compelling was how for his assignment he decided to talk about his experience in writing the assignment. I was interested to see how his dilemma in writing the essay would resolve and enjoyed the hilarity of essentially complaining about the essay they were assigned and turning it in. Certainly “Q” had the most attention-grabbing start of any of the other essays. The writer starts with a near-death experience she had; almost getting into a car crash in Brooklyn. The imagery present made me feel more connected to the writing piece. In M, the aspect of the author’s writing I found the most enjoyable was the figurative language present throughout the essay. Using words such as “dripping” to describe words facilitated my understanding of how she felt when they spoke those words to her.
Something unusual I found in T is that the writer would talk about something that had happened in the past and then add a personal anecdote either correcting himself or changing his mind about something. This choice added a layer of informality and honesty to his essay, one could easily be fooled into thinking that this was a conversation instead of an essay. In “Q” it was definitely creative to start off with a near death experience. My heart quickened as I read the opening paragraphs in “Q” because of how immersive the writing made me feel. In M I thought that the most creative choice she made was leaving the last experience she mentions without telling the readers the aftermath, unlike the rest of the experiences she shared in her essay. Perhaps the writer wanted to endow the readers with a sense of open-endedness to her story.
The part I felt most attached to in M was when she writes about how Baldwin’s work influenced her positively because she felt that she should be able to be herself in the modern world because Baldwin was unapologetically himself in a time where tolerance of the different was not commonplace. Listening to an author’s voice through their work is something I have done that has affected me as well. “Q” had an element of familiarity to it because the commute in the subway is one that I know very well, being from New York myself. Interestingly though, the writer of “Q” and I have different opinions on New York because of our different backgrounds. I, for example, barely notice some things that the writer complained about that were different from her midwestern hometown. The nearly seamless transition from his story about procrastination to his admission that he had decided to write about the change in his opinion on his essay prompt for his assignment made me react the most. I actually laughed because of the sheer hilarity of the writer’s decision.
“Q”
I noticed that this student example is personal to a certain point. They didn’t get into detail about their personal life, but they still tied everything together and made a beautiful story about a regular city (although it’s not regular to loads of people). This writer structured their story into a situation that turned into appreciation. In the beginning, we see an eye-catching moment, the writer this close to ending up in a car crash, but then they tie it up altogether to portray how they were awakened into a city with a lot of problems, but with a lot of memories and experiences to go with it. The choices this writer made were to highlight all the negative things, make them into problems, and then give solutions in a way. We see this in the almost-crash, which is solved with the writer saying how you don’t really need a car in NYC. We also see this in the writer seeing the good in everything, like seeing the Empire State Building, but having to deal with all the gunk on the floor of it. This really compelled me as a reader and brought me to appreciate things about the city I didn’t appreciate in the past. Starting off with a personal story was attention-grabbing, and the text slowly turned way more positive and even ended up being emotional. An unusual/creative choice the writer made was the use of italics. This may just be a technical thing, but it was really creative to use italics as an inside voice, even though the whole text is an inside voice. The use of italics also helped with tones, land jokes, and pulling everything together. A part of the story that gave me an emotional reaction was when the writer ends with even though you may find something negative every single day, you always find a plus one in staying in the city. This was emotional for me because as someone who has lived in the city my entire life, and has nitpicked over every little thing here, it’s sad to think of a future without it, even though I know it’s bound to happen someday. The choices that caused a reaction in me were the specific examples of city life they included. Watching people on the train, wanting to have an experience but things smell or are too pricey, packed public transportation, and more. The choice to include these specific examples caused a reaction of joy, but also remembrance, remembering all these events that take place every day.
“Lesbian”
I noticed that this student example is very meaningful. For the writer to come to terms with their feelings from the past, something people would’ve never spoken about, showcases their bravery, even if they’re anonymous. This writer structured their story from a childhood story to a lesson, and a “happy” ending to the story. By including the section on James Baldwin, the writer is able to showcase someone that made the story change and made the whole plot something way different. From starting off the story, you would think this connotation of the word lesbian is going in a negative direction, and the writer was going to suffer from this word, but then when reaching the James Baldwin moment, and seeing how the writer came to terms with her own thoughts, the whole mood shifts. Now we see how tones have changed, how the word lesbian isn’t italicized anymore, and overall how his words really stuck to the writer. The choices that this writer made that really compelled me were showcasing their true thoughts and feelings. From saying she didn’t even want to change with the other girls in the locker room, and giving us insight into how she even knew what the word lesbian meant, she grabbed my attention instantly. A choice they made was showing how when they were introduced to the term lesbian, their friend regarded it as something “obvious”, but then they add after that encounter a weird encounter, where her friends asked if they were lesbians, all from braiding hair, as if it was “obvious” again. A creative choice this writer made was including the James Baldwin story near the end of the whole text. Usually, when you have a figure such as James Baldwin as someone who inspired you in a way, writers tend to place him and his words near the beginning, to showcase the impact he’s had on them. But in this story, it was closer to the end of the story wrap-up, like his words were a conclusion over an introduction. A part of the story that gave me an emotional reaction was when the writer concluded her feelings to the readers like we were an audience to her life play. It’s emotional because we see how in the earlier stages of her life, she would call herself a lesbian in her mind, but wouldn’t dare to say it to someone she knew, close or not. But now we see how this person, who we only know a little bit about, gets the conclusion of the writer being a lesbian, with no use of other words, or beating around the bush. The choice that caused a reaction in me was bits of the writer’s childhood being used. Seeing how she thought her friends were the prettiest well-deserving girls in the world, but their crushes didn’t think so, really made me sad in a way, cause she couldn’t tell them why she thought that truly. When she was “asked out”, it was emotional to read her true feelings, which no one could probably tell if they weren’t in her mind at the time. These choices to include these inside thoughts brought a loving reaction and made me sympathize with the younger version of the reader.
“This I No Longer Believe”
This student example is very true in its meaning. If I had that same prompt (which we probably do, and if it wasn’t taken, I would do the exact same thing). This writer didn’t really structure their story, and that’s what made it compelling. In a way, it felt like a long thought process, almost a text-to-speech situation. The writer structured this story into making you think he was going to end up with a prompt, but never actually got there. A choice that the writer made that I found compelling was never choosing a prompt. He admitted his faults, even brought his mom into it, but never truly gave closer to what he no longer believes in. With this, it’s compelling and pushed me to keep reading, to eventually find the “happy” ending for them. A creative choice they made was bringing the story a few days before, not just telling us about the night before the work was due. By setting up a time, a setting, and a problem, the story was set up like an actual story with a whole narrator. The whole story gave me an emotional reaction because this student is just like me. When you procrastinate on an assignment that you know you could get done but the basis of it stumbles you, is something that evokes a reaction. I’ve been in that same situation and will be in it a million more times, so reading about someone who is exactly like me is crazy in a way. A choice the writer made in how they crafted their story that caused a reaction in me was how fluent all the words came. In a way, this story felt like a conversation between a student and a teacher who just listened to them ramble. This caused a reaction in me because I’ve been in and heard conversations that have exactly gone how this story went.
Overall, all these stories were personal on their own level. They all had a happy closure to a rocky beginning.
I noticed that each of the student examples was the narrator describing a conflict that they had from their personal perspective. Each writer structured their story with an into of the setting leading on to their main topic which is their conflict. In “Q” I liked how the writer described the difference between how it was back home and it was in New York. In “Lesbian” I enjoyed how the writer described how Baldwin touched her heart and sent a message to her. In “This I No Longer Believe” I felt like the whole story was just relatable to most people because procrastination is a common thing. I found it creative how the stories all had some kind of message that the reader can take. In “Q” and “This I No Longer Believe” it felt very engaging because it was relatable and I experienced it before. In “Lesbian” I found it eye opening because it tells the reader of struggles that people might not understand as being someone form the LQBTQ community.
I noticed the three students giving a raw story of a personal experience of coming to a realization. realization of the reality of New York, comfortable with ones sexuality, and how solid ones views are that cant think of a change in opinion.
the structure of “q” was telling the story through different transportation of New York compare to where they used to live it first starts with what they thought New York would be to those dreams crushed with a pack train and showing how it really is and more experiences of New York. the structure of “lesbian” is beginning, middle and end. character learns about being lesbian feels good about it went through experiences made her feel to hide lesbian then read some books felt gave her some confidence and found a girl that made her feel good again and realized she could be herself and have that feeling of lesbian like when she first heard it. “this I no longer believe ” structure is an essay on not being able to write a proper idea for the essay prompt given.
for “q” the part where it was describing New York to be great was funny because I was reading that like that does not happen what New York is this person in and then you get to the part like nope New York sucks and I’m like yup there it is. I like the full circle moment of “lesbian” its a very subtle thing where she gets that feeling at the end same as she had in the beginning of the story as a kid what she described what it was to be lesbian. that was a very nice moment I liked since she was able to unlock that inner child feeling she had felt the need to hide. and the final story I just related to it because I have done the same thing with a similar essay question too of not know what to write and then you just write about that, so that was compelling to me.
I found the car crash in beginning of “q” a bit unusual and left me a bit confused why that was the start. I’m thinking it was the reason for the move but I’m not sure. it was like an “umbrella academy” transition something abrupt happens and just continue on to the next thing like nothing happened.
an emotion reaction I had for q was that moment when the q train hits the station and the story just flips to reality of New York. it made me feel nostalgia for New York and like what makes New York New York. “lesbian” emotional reaction was when she was able to say “yes I am lesbian” and proudly answer the girl that asked her the question if she was or not. its that sponge bob moment of “I’m ugly and I’m proud”. and for “This I No Longer Believe” I had an emotion reaction for when for the last two sentences because it was just relatable and made me feel like I need to stop procreating and pushing things back and face what I need to face.
for “q” the choices made were they built New York through descriptive language and for me thats what brand that reaction for me. for “lesbian” they used good choice of story telling such as the obstacles the character had to overcome and how she overcame them was relatable as well reading a book and remembering who you are don’t be afraid to just be you. “This I No Longer Believe” had a good choice of topic and word choice that brand out the reaction in me.
What did you notice about each of the student examples?
I noticed that each writing sample was a unique personal anecdote about an important experience in each persons life, whether it be their procrastination or a struggle with sexual orientation acceptance, each person had their own experience to share that was interesting and entertaining.
How did each writer structure their story?
Each writer wrote their story with a structure of starting with an issue they had in their lives, whether big or small, and covered the process of how they chose to cope with the issue, fix the issue, or reframe their thinking about the issue.
What choices did each writer make that you found compelling, interesting, attention-grabbing, emotionally-moving, or otherwise positive?
I think the hooks in the beginning of each essay were interesting. Sometimes they were dramatic attention grabbers or just brutal honesty, it really made me interested and want to keep reading.
What unusual or creative choices did they make?
There were a multitude of creative choices made. With creative descriptions, attention grabbing essay starters, and pure brutal honesty about what’s on a persons mind. These were all creative choices that made the readings more enjoyable and interesting.
Which parts of the story gave you some kind of emotional reaction?
I had an emotional reaction to the story Q, because I really relate to that love-hate relationship with New York. I grew up here, I’m fond of it. It’s my home and it’s also famous and has some of the coolest sights in the country. At the same time, it’s frustrating, dangerous and exhausting.
What choices did the writer make in how they crafted their story that CAUSED that reaction in you?
I think the description of New York, especially near the end, was so accurate that it encapsulated that love-hate feeling that I couldn’t put into words.
I noticed that each writer has a story of coming to a realization. the reality of New York, you can be yourself proudly, and sometimes your views don’t change from a young age.
the story of “Q” was structured by telling a story through different transportations modes through imagery. the story of “Lesbian” was structured through a beginning middle and an end. and finally the structure of “This I No Longer Believe” was essay format of question and answer.
I found “Q” to be compelling when it makes the switch of this dream of New York to the q train arriving and all those dreams flips to being nothing like the character thought. it was really funny and interesting to read because living in New York my whole life and traveling on the q train I was wondering what New York they were in util the train came. “lesbian” was attention grabbing when the the book the charatar read inspired her to come out as lesbian proudly. this was attention grabbing because its not a usual thing to see for me that book does that for someone. “This I No Longer Believe” was interesting to me because I have had similar situations where I also couldn’t answer the question just because I couldn’t relate and in what they did I did the same of writing not knowing what to write.
I think “Q” had the only unusual choice that led me to be a bit confused still. For me that was the car crash in the beginning of the story. I don’t understand it I was thinking it was the reason for the move to New York or like the story is just the thoughts before the crash I am not sure. a creative choices for “lesbian” was a book inspired someone in a story its like the mirror with thin the mirror and also its just refreshing for an author to inspire instead of like a celebrity or an artist or hero figure which is what I usually would see. the creative touch of “This I No Longer Believe ” is just the response to a question being I don’t know and here’s why I don’t know how to answer the question it answers the question still but its almost like the story doesn’t answer the question.
“Q” gave me a emotional reaction of nostalgia when the story gets to talking about the reality of what experiences are in New York from the q train arriving packed with people to the different people described staring at each other on the train its a great nostalgic or familiar feeling I was missing when I was on vaction. I had an emotional reaction to “lesbian” in the end where its like a full circle moment of the girl finally feeling comfortable enough to be herself again and has that feeling of when she was little girl first realizing what lesbian was to her. it just show her now being able to live that little kids dreams and not having to hide anymore. the last two sentences in “This I No Longer Believe” pop out to me and gave me an emotional reaction since he basically saying face your problems don’t procrastinate next time if you dont have an idea its okay just start it and figure it out as you go better to facing it earlier than stress later.
for “Q” I think the writer used good choices in descriptive language to really paint the full picture of what is going on in the story and it helped me get to the feeling of nostalgia of New York and riding that yucky train because of the way the writer build the world was great and I could picture it brand that emotional reaction out. for the writer of “Lesbian” the I think it was a good choice in story telling you get to see the obstacles she had to over come and how she over came those obstacles which made it relatable read a book remember where you came from surround your self by good people and you can be yourself its good choice in plot points that keep the story obtainable and makes you feel that emotional reaction once she finally able to proudly answer with “yes I am lesbian” and give you hope to find your self as well. the writer of “This I No Longer Believe” made good word choices to keep the story going and to end where it did. I can relate to this student a lot through the words and through their story and makes me feel like don’t need to over think sometimes.
I noticed that each writer has a story of coming to a realization. the reality of New York, you can be yourself proudly, and sometimes your views don’t change from a young age.
the story of “Q” was structured by telling a story through different transportations modes through imagery. the story of “Lesbian” was structured through a beginning middle and an end. and finally the structure of “This I No Longer Believe” was essay format of question and answer.
I found “Q” to be compelling when it makes the switch of this dream of New York to the q train arriving and all those dreams flips to being nothing like the character thought. it was really funny and interesting to read because living in New York my whole life and traveling on the q train I was wondering what New York they were in util the train came. “lesbian” was attention grabbing when the the book the charatar read inspired her to come out as lesbian proudly. this was attention grabbing because its not a usual thing to see for me that book does that for someone. “This I No Longer Believe” was interesting to me because I have had similar situations where I also couldn’t answer the question just because I couldn’t relate and in what they did I did the same of writing not knowing what to write.
I think “Q” had the only unusual choice that led me to be a bit confused still. For me that was the car crash in the beginning of the story. I don’t understand it I was thinking it was the reason for the move to New York or like the story is just the thoughts before the crash I am not sure. a creative choices for “lesbian” was a book inspired someone in a story its like the mirror with thin the mirror and also its just refreshing for an author to inspire instead of like a celebrity or an artist or hero figure which is what I usually would see. the creative touch of “This I No Longer Believe ” is just the response to a question being I don’t know and here’s why I don’t know how to answer the question it answers the question still but its almost like the story doesn’t answer the question.
“Q” gave me a emotional reaction of nostalgia when the story gets to talking about the reality of what experiences are in New York from the q train arriving packed with people to the different people described staring at each other on the train its a great nostalgic or familiar feeling I was missing when I was on vaction. I had an emotional reaction to “lesbian” in the end where its like a full circle moment of the girl finally feeling comfortable enough to be herself again and has that feeling of when she was little girl first realizing what lesbian was to her. it just show her now being able to live that little kids dreams and not having to hide anymore. the last two sentences in “This I No Longer Believe” pop out to me and gave me an emotional reaction since he basically saying face your problems don’t procrastinate next time if you dont have an idea its okay just start it and figure it out as you go better to facing it earlier than stress later.
for “Q” I think the writer used good choices in descriptive language to really paint the full picture of what is going on in the story and it helped me get to the feeling of nostalgia of New York and riding that yucky train because of the way the writer build the world was great and I could picture it brand that emotional reaction out. for the writer of “Lesbian” the I think it was a good choice in story telling you get to see the obstacles she had to over come and how she over came those obstacles which made it relatable read a book remember where you came from surround your self by good people and you can be yourself its good choice in plot points that keep the story obtainable and makes you feel that emotional reaction once she finally able to proudly answer with “yes I am lesbian” and give you hope to find your self as well. the writer of “This I No Longer Believe” made good word choices to keep the story going and to end where it did. I can relate to this student a lot through the words and through their story and makes me feel like don’t need to over think sometimes.
I noticed that each of the students describes their personal experience.
“Q” in this text the author shows brutally but at the same time very truly New York, what this city is like. I was very amused when I read about honking on everything, because it is true.
“Lesbian” text talks about word (which is also a title of this story) that been connected emotionally with an author at a young age, author didn’t like this word but at the end of the story she found herself and starts to use this word with confidence. This’s a good movie situation.
Text “This I no longer believe” describes the behavior of many people who postpone duties, which usually has bad consequences later.
I think each text relates to me. I had a situation like described in “Lesbian” text and I also put things off for later as it was in “This I no longer believe”. “Q” Text describes subway trips which I personally love and enjoy. Each of the texts was interesting and interested me, they are recommendable.
After reading the three sample essays I noticed in each of the students’ examples their stories were personal. Example in the “Q” essay she was talking about her experience in New York and transportation and how life is. In “Lesbian” she was telling us her experience and how she was afraid of telling the world who she is and was afraid of what people would think of her until she had the courage to come out. In “Sample” it was very relatable of how most would think before having to do a writing assignment. In fact I feel the same way. I have no idea what I’m going to write about to be honest. I feel that each writer wrote with emotions and they grabbed my attention to the point I didn’t get bored as I was reading the essays. In “Sample ” I felt it was an unusual way to write your assignment but on the other hand it was very relatable and it was very detailed that it was a great essay at least as the draft as he stated. In “Sample” when he was explaining how he couldn’t come up with an idea or topic to write about. I felt his emotions through his writing. This reaction of mine came from how relatable it was. Therefore, the authors wrote each of their personal essays with emotion and lots of thought put into it which started with their problem to a solution toward the ending.
In the except from “Q,” I noticed how the author in detail wrote about their experience after the move to NYC, an out of character decision chosen for themself. The author structured their story by starting it off with the panic and complexity of driving in the city showing the significant difference compared to what they have used to deal with prior to their move, then switched it up to describing both a positive and negative to go along with everything they have dealt with whilst being in the city. It was remarkably interesting seeing how one could explain a place that I live with such accuracy knowing that I have been through all the situations stated in the writing. The author made the unusual choice of staying regardless of all the negatives they have stated that would have someone running. Though I cannot say I have had an emotional reaction but the discussion about how compared to where the author moved from, that people in NY honk their car for everything got me smiling. With the tone of the way the author wrote it while making that comparison to where they are from just shows how big of a change this was.
In the excerpt from “Lesbian,” I noticed how the author discusses since a young age she always knew who she was, but she was not entirely ready for people to know that side of her. The author structured the story starting with a personal situation of being closeted and not proud of who she was. Later she then explains and hopes to overcome that. I found it interesting how she made way to adapting to how other students were to continue to hold onto that secret of being a lesbian. The author made a creative choice with her wearing her gym clothes under her regular clothes just to avoid stripping with the other girls shows how it affected her. The author made me feel bad for her having to hide her identity just because of the view that she got when she was younger. Since she was accused of being called a lesbian, it kick started reasons for her to not be proud of who she was which puts me in that mood.
In the excerpt from “This I No Longer Believe,” I noticed how the author shows a struggle for writing. The author structured this text in a way to show how much they wanted to get away from the writing, doing anything that would cover up the assignment they’d have to complete. I found interesting how the author was able to convey their situation and difficult ability to work through a task that may not be of the norm. I believe the author made the creative choice to show how easy the task would be if I were under a different prompt. I noticed how relatable this text could be to anyone in a class involving writing can fall underneath this feeling of being stuck with writing. I related to this text really well knowing I would stress about an assignment that isn’t even due the next day, and knowing I have time, seem to use it up in an unproductive way as stated in the beginning of the passage.
I admired how creative and personal all the essays were. All the authors gave a insight to their inner thoughts, not only that but expressed relatability to their audience as the challenges they face are much like those students face as they transition into adulthood.
In “Q” I liked how she used visualization to share her experience when coming to New York. She used a great introduction to really grab her audience’s attention from the beginning starting off with a sentence making it seem like there was an accident but then shifts into her quite normal story, using language to keep her readers engaged.
In “Lesbian” I loved how she shows her development period by period showing exactly how she overcame her adversity from start to finish. I noticed that she used Chronological events and repetition of the word “Lesbian” to emphasize shift in character. But the end when she finally built up the courage to admit that she is queer I found moving because I felt proud of the narrator after reading where she was to where she is now.
In “sample pdf” I love how complex it was. As I read it felt like the fourth wall was being broken. This essay was unintentionally the most personal because it was based on a topic many could relate to. Even though this essay was simply a collection of thoughts, I was kept engaged.
For these three sample essays all of them were different but they compared at the same time. All of the essays compared because they all had a problem or issue and they all fixed them. For example in “Q” it was about New York which I can relate too and everyone from class can relate too because we are from there, it talks about the various issues with New York however this is where im from and I wouldn’t change a thing about it because I can’t imagine moving somewhere else to another state or country and not fitting in, I fit in here.
For the essay “Lesbian” the author talks about how at a young age she avoided saying the word and how when people asked her about it or if she was a lesbian she would shrug it off but overtime she wasn’t afraid to admit who she truly was. I can relate to this because in middle school not high school people would criticize or bully me because of how acted so I stopped but overtime I didn’t care what people thought and I acted and did how I wanted .
Finally for “Sample” I relate to this essay the most because the author talks about procrastinating. This is something I myself dos a lot putting off things to do for later. I would put off even the simplest task to do nothing instead when I could have done what needed to be done and went back to relaxing or doing nothing but I just put it off and simply say later until its almost or even too late. This is a bad habit I’m trying to get rid of for college because I really need to manage my time with school homework and job.
What did you notice about each of the student examplesIn her essay, “Lesbian,” the author talks about how she avoided using the word “gay” when she was younger. She also said that when people asked her if she was a lesbian, she would just ignore them. She said that she was not afraid to admit who she was, and she didn’t care what people thought of her. This made me relate to her experience as in middle school, not in high school, people would often criticize and bully me because of how I acted, but I didn’t care what they thought of me.The author talks about her habit of putting off various tasks and projects to later. This is something that I tend to do a lot, and it’s something that I’m trying to get rid of in order to avoid getting stuck in the same situation. I would usually put off doing something that I needed to do until it was too late or I would just go back to relaxing. This is not something that I want to do for college, as it’s very important that I manage my time properly.
All three essays tell a story of a personal experience in achieving enlightenment. Each student’s example is a narrator describing the conflict they encountered from their personal perspective, focusing on the obstacles the characters had to overcome and how they overcame them, and each essay story structure begins with a problem they encountered in their lives, large or small. In the essay “Q,” she talks about her experiences and transportation in New York and what life is like. The authors build their stories from the panic and complexity of being new to the city, showing significant differences compared to what they were used to before they moved. In the article “Lesbian” the authors talk about their past feelings and show their bravery about their identity.
As I read all these essays I realized how personal these got. I realized the different way they write and how it can truly impact the way you read and interpret everything. I really like with “lesbian” it was as tory about a girl who had this one feeling growing up and was always aware of her feelings but she felt like she was wrong and it was s mistake but growing up she had realized that she was never wrong or felt any type of way. When she was younger she would always avoid the question or even afraid to truly show who she was. But growing up she matured and knew the real person and how wrong she completely was.
For “Q” it was interesting to me because I have never moved anywhere I was born and raised in New York but I can imagine how it is to completely change your whole life to another state. I can sort of relate especially when I travel to different countries or even states for a few weeks it is hard because you feel so out of place. I can imagine moving is a completely different story and completely more terrifying.
For “sample” I can relate to so much because the story is all about procrastinating. I do that so often and it really is a bad habit but it made me like the story more as I felt the same way as they did.